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For a long time, I struggled with job interviews and found them very difficult. From getting nervous in the lead-up, saying the wrong things and just not feeling like I was good enough, I used to fear them and found them really difficult. While I had weird moments within a number of interviews, one interview has stood out and has been one I have talked to different people about in the past.
The period around the interview (before and after) and day itself has had a huge influence on many aspects of my life. This was because of what it represented at the time (the company was an international sports retailer whose headquarters was close to where I used to live), what occurred on the day and the impact it potentially had but which I didn’t recognise for some time. It was also influential in how I have reflected upon myself because of it in the years afterwards. The day itself started OK and normal for an interview day. I got myself ready, travelled into London during the main commuting hours (not normal for me) and arrived with plenty of time in the right place for the interview. I went into the waiting room where the people on the day were also waiting and arriving, and it soon dawned on me that I was one of the only people who wasn’t already an existing employee of the company. At this point, I felt a bit strange and nervous but I tried to take it all in my stride. We were given a briefing of what the day would entail and the different parts. I started to get nervous at this stage, because of the food, when they said that the staff had all brought in food for lunch and we would be having a buffet style lunch together. Because food has always been a big hang-up for me, particularly with unknowns and things being prepared by people because I don’t know what is in things (and I don’t like to hurt peoples’ feelings by not eating stuff!)This created very real nerves within me. The first main section of the day was a series of maths activities. The whole group of interviewees did it together and, as this was an interview day for the role of Finance Business Partner, the activities had been found online as preparatory sample tests for Accountancy and finance exams, mainly designed for those people seeking to apply for the Accountancy qualifications and opportunities within big Accountancy firms. This played into my hands and excited me (both internally and, looking back, unfortunately externally!) because I had done many of these practices as part of applying and starting the processes with some of the big Accountancy firms I had applied to earlier in the year. As a result, I had seen and could do many of the different assessments, but also showed how happy I was that I had done them. WIth the morning going so well and some of the nerves melting away, I was feeling good as the day was progressing. After the maths section, it was now time to do the team building/team bonding activity. As this was a business revolving around sport, team building is done through sport and, on this occasion, Ultimate Frisbee. We first had to get changed and, while doing this, I was also starting to think about lunch and get nervous again. I was also a bit nervous about playing Ultimate Frisbee as I had never done it before and didn’t want to make a complete fool of myself. After getting changed, we walked around to a local park and got into teams. And then things get blurry… The first time a frisbee is thrown towards me, I slip on the ground (wet from condensation and recent rain!) and land on my back, bumping my head. Yes, that’s right! Bumped my head on the ground during the team building section of a job interview. I would like to say that I said “oh no!” when this happened but instead, I didn’t know where I was. As I said above, things are blurry from this point but I do remember that, when I should have been doing my one to one interview, I was in an A&E department in a hospital in Central London, waiting to check that I was OK. That was the end of the day for me as I remember it and I got home once I had been checked out. There was a lot that led up to the day and, when reflecting back on events, probably explained the spectacular nature in which it was destined to end! Whether it was the days, weeks or months leading up to it and, whichever of them you want to pick, there was a lot happening. Let's start with the months leading up to the interview. At the end of 2016 and beginning of 2017, I had decided that I wanted to pursue a career in Accountancy and Finance, initially wanting to work for a big Accountancy firm to get qualified. I went along to a couple of open days in the early part of 2017 and started interview processes, getting through the online testing parts of the process (maths and english) but falling at the self-video interview stage. It felt very unnatural to me and not something I am good at, so I was always going to struggle with it. After a bit of reflection, I also explored roles within the Finance Department of businesses, having a couple of interviews, but did not have any success at this point. As well as applying for roles through job boards, I also created a document to sell myself, showing experience and qualities I have, to accompany my CV and cover letter, and sent this off to different Finance Directors and relevant people within companies. I had very limited success until, one day, I was invited to go to an interview day… yes, that’s right… at the company I had been wanting and trying, in different ways, to work for for 10 years. I accepted the invitation and started the process of getting myself prepared. The whole desire to pursue a career in Accountancy came about because I was approaching turning 30 years old in June 2017. I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I had done, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be and what I could do. During this process, I was taken back to being 15 years old and my desire to want to be an Accountant. An older family friend had become one and I looked up to her as she seemed to like/be good at similar things to me. So, at 15 years old, I wanted to be an Accountant. In 2016-2017, a natural chance at a reset, having taken a very different career path through university and the years after, meant that I was in a position to pursue working in Accountancy/Finance and this is what I was focussing on. It was full of ups and downs with the emotions of getting interviews but being rejected, so was quite difficult to take but also had moments of joy within it (getting interviews!) That was the months leading up to the infamous interview. The days and weeks leading up to the interview were even more chaotic. Four weeks before the interview, I went on holiday with my family as it was my 30th birthday and I decided that I wanted to go away for it with my family. We went to France on the West coast to a resort we had been to the previous two years and it was lovely. It was nice and quiet and the people were friendly. All was lovely until, two days before coming home, my aging dog got a big sist on his back. This was not the first time but it was scary because we were away from home. We went to the vet where we had been for his travel jabs and, it is fair to say, it was a difficult moment to do the necessary things to help my dog in order to get him home, where the real necessary treatment would be done. While on holiday, I also had an introductory chat and briefing for the interview. I went for a walk away from the resort to get myself ready and be in the right frame of mind for the interview. Ordinarily, I would feel a bit nervous and it felt doubly strange as I was on holiday, close to the time of my birthday, and felt like this was a time where I should have been relaxed. It was an added dynamic to the holiday that made things a bit challenging. In the days before the interview, I also went to a party that was a reminder of how I had lost contact with different people and, while there, there was a real reminder of all the different challenges that were going on at this time for me and where I felt I was in my life at this time. All in all, there was a lot that happened in the days, weeks and months leading up to the interview so it is probably not a surprise that it ended the way it did! Fast forward 10 years later and the idea of Accountancy and Finance has never left my consciousness. I have recently started to pursue a career in Accountancy and Finance again but, this time, I am doing it slightly differently. I am starting off at the bottom and starting off by getting a qualification, which will give me vital knowledge and the platform to be able to properly build my career. I looked at qualifications 10 years ago but never made the commitment to do one as a basis on which to start to build my career and show commitment to the path I want to take. The positive of this is learning from the past, getting better understanding of myself and trying to do things in a much better way. I recently completed my seventh marathon (Brighton Marathon 2026) and, as part of my preparation for this, I reflected on my previous experiences. It was 13 years since my previous marathon and it’s fair to say that my previous marathons had been challenging for a variety of reasons. After gradually getting back into running after a long break a few years ago, I decided that it was time to let go of past marathon memories and re-write how I feel about the experience of doing one (up to now, it generally made me shake my head and come out in cold sweats!) so I gave myself a year to prepare.
When reflecting on my last marathon, Barcelona in 2013, there was so much that happened that it is no surprise to have had the reaction I did when someone said the word “marathon”. Both the day itself and lead up had lots of moments that could have been so different, yet they unfolded the way they did. When looking back, it is scary to think that what now feels like small moments have felt like huge moments and potentially stopped me from doing more or doing things differently. But they did and they have. On the day of the race, I woke up and felt fine, having my breakfast and making my way to the start line of the Barcelona Marathon. When standing at the start line, I felt fine and was just patiently waiting for the start, as I often did. I remember thinking that it was different because all previous runs had been in England or France, so the general chat was different as it was in Spanish. There were a few English people there and I remember picking out a young English couple who were chatting, but I didn’t speak to them (although, at this time, it was rare for me to chat to people while waiting for runs to start). During the first few kilometres, I felt fine running along and was running at a decent enough pace, but was starting to feel tired from fairly early on. Then it happened, at 14km (a third of the way through the run). My calf pinged and I found it hard to put meaningful pressure on the leg. I was able to walk and do a form of power walking, but normal running form went out the window from that moment on. After my leg went, I kept moving with some form and went into a form of power walking, reducing the impact on the leg and stretching it out. For the next few kilometres, I found a way to carry on going. THEN… as I hit 20 kilometres, I realised, at a point where you turn back on yourself on the route, I was very close to the hotel where I was staying. Around this point, I also saw mum and dad, who had come to support me at the marathon. On seeing mum and dad, what I should have done was pull out at this point, gone back to the hotel, got changed then gone to the start line and picked up my bags. However, because of having travelled all that way and paid out for this adventure, I felt that I couldn't get back on the plane to fly home without the medal. I was also thinking about having to go to the start line to get my stuff and the faff of doing all of this, all without having a medal to show for it. So I carried on, through the immense pain, to find some way of getting to the end and completing the marathon. People passed me perpetually, up to the point where there was no-one to pass me anymore. I was even passed by a group of three people that had power walked the marathon. I don’t remember too much about the course and where I was running. I can’t remember the districts that I ran through or the support that I received along the route. That is all a blur (apart from when I was overtaken by the power walkers, where I remember there were palm trees lining the road). I do remember the finish area (helped by seeing photos afterwards to jog my memory!) There were no real crowds at the finish line as I was finishing and I just remember the fact that they were already starting to take down the hoardings and the sponsorship banners. I also remember feeling the pain but also being a bit surprised and disbelieving because, even with the bad leg and with the course finish line being disassembled, I still completed the marathon in under five hours and thirty minutes. That was only ten minutes slower than the London Marathon the year before and it was a really challenging experience to go through. The period in the lead up to the Barcelona Marathon was quietly chaotic. At this point, I had been managing my own project (an online platform to inspire children to be more active and discover different sports) for 18 months and was starting to become fatigued by the pressure and challenges of the project. It was around this time that I was thinking about changing the direction of the project and was trying new things. I was also trying to compete and challenge against other projects doing similar things and it was taking a toll on me as I was inexperienced and overwhelmed by all that was going on with it. I was also struggling with dealing with family loss in the previous years but found it difficult to talk to anyone about it. Because of the many things all happening at the same time, it meant that I didn’t do very much training for the marathon, with 13 miles (a half marathon) being the longest training run that I completed. This meant that I was very under-prepared and didn’t feel very fit. I also felt tired on a regular basis. I was able to capitalise on this being my 6th marathon and using the muscle endurance gained from previous marathons, although the physical capabilities stopped there and it was a marathon too far when profiting from previous experience. When I was out in Barcelona, I also had difficulty with food in the lead up to the event taking place on the Sunday. As I didn’t know the city very well and hadn’t done the research on the city, it meant that the search for good food to eat in the lead up was really hard. On the Saturday before the event, we went into the centre to find a restaurant to eat dinner and found it challenging to find somewhere to eat. In the end, we found a restaurant that did pasta, which was OK but didn’t stand out as an amazing meal. The search for the restaurant had been tiresome and the benefits of the meal probably got outweighed by the difficulty in finding it in the end. The effect of the experience in Barcelona was profound. The recovery from the bad knee took weeks and it took a while to start running again. I have also been very cautious about doing another marathon, signing up for one in 2019 but deciding very quickly that I wasn’t going to do it and not deciding to do another one until 2026 (a gap of 13 years). I also vowed after Barcelona that I would only do another marathon if I did the right training. Fast forward to 2026 and, although I got very nervous in the weeks leading up to the marathon, the sense of pride, satisfaction and relief when I crossed the finish line were massive. The tears flooded out and 13 years of carrying the memories of Barcelona melted away. It felt amazing and made me realise that, although we have difficult experiences in life, there can be many reasons for this and it is important, if you really want to, to have another attempt at completing a challenge. I have learnt that it is worth doing it and the joy when you succeed is immense! |
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