Sometimes, great opportunities aren’t right and you just have to accept it

In my pursuit of finding my dream career, I have followed a number of paths with organisations that were doomed to fail from the beginning. Not because of the company, and not because of issues around skills or how the opportunity fitted with what I wanted in my career. Sometimes, there is something fundamental that just won’t work and, no matter how much you want it, it is never going to happen. I have had experiences like this and, at the time, I didn’t appreciate the reality of it not being right. I felt sad and frustrated at the time. When I look back, (it took me years to get perspective on it!) It is obvious to see the issues but, at the time, the opportunities it presented outside of the main part of the role, including career progression, made me blind to the fact that it wasn’t right on a fundamental level.

One experience will live with me forever and is regularly quoted by my family as an experience that was never going to be successful. I applied and got an interview with a retail company selling wine, well established and very successful with great growth plans for the future. It was an exciting opportunity and, from the advert and throughout the process, I was excited by the career progression opportunities and support that they were giving to people joining the company, so it felt like the dream job at that time. Even better was the fact that there was potential for some travel, including to France (I did my degree in French, lived for 2 years in France and wanted to move back at some point, so this connection was also amazing!) so everything felt great and I was well and truly invested in the idea of working for this company.

In true “me” style, the day of the interview had its moment in the lead-up. The interview was in the middle of nowhere but, prior to the interview, I had researched the location and, using Google Maps, thought that I could take a train then have a 20-30 minute walk to the location of the interview. What I hadn’t appreciated was that, where the offices were positioned, the walk included walking along a country road with no footpaths and I was wearing a suit/smart shoes that weren’t very comfortable. I had written out the route but, along the way, got lost and had veered away from where I was meant to be walking. Fortunately, I had given myself plenty of time and, as I was walking, a very kind gentleman stopped and helped me by giving me a lift to the offices for the interview. I got there in plenty of time but it was an unexpected excursion and one that threw me a bit ahead of meeting the people at the company.

The process for the job interview with this company was always going to be a 2-step interview. The first interview went really well and I got on very well with the person doing the interview. I was able to talk about myself, explain what I had done, what I wanted and how I felt I would be good for the company. I also found out a lot about the company and somehow managed to avoid the thing that would stop me from getting the job in the end. I walked away from the first interview very positively which, unfortunately, made me want the job even more.

The day of the second interview was much smoother. I didn’t make the same mistakes getting to the office and I got there, relaxed and on time. The person doing the second interview was as lovely as the first person and I was able to answer the first questions comfortably. Then it happened. I was asked a question I couldn’t answer. At this stage, I will remind you that I was going for a job working for a wine retailer so there are some obvious questions that can be asked. I did a bit of research but it didn’t really help me. The question I was asked was “what is your favourite type of wine?” and I came unstuck at this point. Why? Because I didn’t (and don’t) like wine! As I have said, there are some fundamental things that are essential for being able to do certain jobs and, unsurprisingly, liking wine is one requirement of working in a wine retailer. I tried to make up an answer from research I had done prior to the interview but I think they saw through it and, in the end, I didn’t get the job.

I remember seeing the person who interviewed me a few months later. I was working in a shop in Central London and they came in one day by coincidence while I was there. They were lovely to me and we had a quick chat, and it wasn’t their fault that I didn’t get the job. It just wasn’t right for me. I found it hard at the time, and for many years after, because of all the benefits, training and career progression they offered, but it just would never have worked. My family always says “yes, but you wouldn’t have been able to/enjoyed the training” and they were/are right. Once I stopped being blind to this reality, even I was able to see the ridiculousness of what I was pursuing in this particular instance.

During my time working as a recruitment consultant, and when meeting people while working in education, I have often talked about different aspects of finding a job and the challenges/realities of the process. One thing that is common to everyone is that it is not an easy process to change jobs. There are lots of considerations to make before finding a new job and, during the process, there are things that we can control but many things that we cannot. Automation can be valuable but can also create a major barrier. Finding the right type of opportunity is tricky and the same role can look very different depending on the type and size of company. As much as everything should be standard for everything, there are some variations that will always exist depending on the size and industry the company sits in. Behind every decision, there is ultimately a person who makes the final call and decides who they will choose and, if there is one role, even if they have five amazing, well fitting people, they will have to find a way of selecting the one person who will get that role. 

For the person seeking the role, I have always given certain advice which I think is important. The first piece of advice is that, during the interview, you should work out whether you can see yourself working for that company. If you are going to big, grand offices and feeling like it is too big, to the point that it is overwhelming, the reality is that it may not be the place for you. By going into the company and working out whether you can see yourself working there, it helps to manage expectations and give a more balanced feeling for the process of finding a job. We always want to feel like we have done a good job in the things we do and get rewarded each time but, sometimes, it is not possible. When you have had a job interview where you have felt like it is not right, it means that, when you hear the outcome of the interview (pursue it further or not) you can sit there and feel that, whatever the feedback, you didn’t feel that it was right for you. This ability to look in this way can help to manage the overall feelings during the process of finding a job and make it a little easier.

The other bit of advice that is important for all candidates is to try to make the interview become more of a conversation. I got this advice from my family and it makes a difference in a number of ways. Firstly, it feels more natural as a way to find out more about the company you are interviewing at. It also helps to give you some control of things as you can build confidence by doing this and you can naturally flow into selling yourself in the interview, promoting your strengths and showing your different qualities. You are also able to ask more questions by making it more of a conversation and this helps to build confidence in yourself as well as helping you to find out more about the company.

Not all interviews get the outcome we want and hope for but, by understanding that there are fundamental reasons why we may not get a job or by controlling interviews to help us achieve our desired outcome, the experience can feel and become much better and we can feel happy when it goes the way we want it to.

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